Dallas Green leaves stage, cites realizing songs are crap
City and Colour dude comes to realization too late
- Lester Blangs for Canadian Music News Webwire
Waterloo-Mississuagua, Ontario – At a packed Saturday night show at popular club the Annex, the City and Colour’s Dallas Green abruptly left the stage, after stopping mid-song to announce, “Hey, these songs are crap.”
Green, a popular Ontario musician not just for his sensitive acoustic songs he performs and records under the name City and Colour but also as a member of the popular “Screamo” outfit Alexisonfire, went on to say, “Hey, I just realized. All my songs sound the same, and none of them are any good. Maybe I should learn to write a hook before foisting my bullshit on naïve, eager young fans.” With that, Green put down his acoustic guitar, and left stage.
Audience members were stunned. “At first, I thought it was a joke,” says 16-year-old Tina Miller, from Waterloo. “Like, who does that?” Miller, who had been holding up a home-made sign saying “Waterloo-Mississuagua loves Dallas Green, said she didn’t come out to concerts much, but that this all-ages performance was special. “He’s, like, my all-time favourite,” said Miller. “He’s like sooooo sensitive.”
Other attendees were just as stunned. “I want my money back,” said Luke Sinclair, there that night with a bunch of friends from a local community college. “Although, if I play my cards right, I might still get to go home with one of these babes. Like, that one crying in the corner. Excuse me.”
Club manager Bill Reyes-Jones said that, in the five years he’s been managing the Annex, he’s never seen a performer walk offstage. “I’ll definitely think twice before booking any emo-type screamo sensitive types again,” said Reyes-Jones.
Green was not available for comment, but manager Trish Meyers said that the musician was simply suffering from “an aesthetic crisis.
“It’s not unheard of among artists of mediocre talent, who somehow have managed to connect with a young audience who come to believe their confessional ramblings set to dull lyrics as marks of great and profound depth,” said Meyers. “Don’t you worry, though. Once he wakes up and smells the balance sheet, he’ll be out there again, singing songs of lost love and sad-eyed emo boys chasing poetry-loving emo girls as though this incident had never happened.”
Haha! YES! I love this, I want to throw it in my ex boyfriend’s face.